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 Message from the president:Support for Kauai |
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| Early Childhood Education Early Head Start/Head Start Child Abuse & Neglect Prevention & Treatment CPS Visitation Centers Hana Like Home Visitor Program Lanai Integrated Services Respite Program Domestic Violence Prevention & Treatment Family Peace Center Maui Family Peace Program Family Visitation Centers Maui Family Visitation Center Kauai Family Visitation Center Ohia- Domestic Violence Shelter Mental Health Support Intensive Support Services Program Kauai Intensive Support Services Program Maui Multi Systemic Therapy Program Community Building & Economic Development Community Teen Program Economic Development Center Family Centers Board of Directors: Lui Faleafine, Jr., Chair Cappy Fasi, Vice-Chair Ron Teves, Secretary Lowell Kalapa, Treasurer Phillip Deaver Carolann Guy Frank Haines Muthusami Kumaran, PhD Sandy Kurosaki Wendy Willers Lagareta Olin Kealoha Lagon Richanne T. Lam Eileen Lota David Shibata Allene Suemori Dana Ann Takushi Kimberly Yatomi Ruthann Quitiquit, President & CEO Haaheo Mansfield, Vice President of Programs Kathy Tirrell, Vice President of Operations Faces of PACT Editors Sara Izen Norma Spierings |
Like all of you, we are getting ready for the Holidays and welcoming in the New Year. This is a special time for us, as we consciously take time to reflect on all of our good fortunes over the past year and think about the possibilities for 2008. At Parents And Children Together, we are in a fortunate position of receiving gifts from many companies and individuals that want to share and brighten the holidays for the children and families that we work with. On behalf of our consumers, we cannot thank our donors enough for their kindness – whether it is someone who sponsored books from a bookstore to help a child learn to read, who dropped a wrapped gift for child at one of our many offices across the state, gave donations for the penny sale that gives the children a place to shop for the parents and siblings or purchased a new refrigerator for our domestic violence shelter. We are also blessed because we, unlike the many donors, are fortunate to see the smiles and joy your gifts bring to these children and families. Mahalo for all you do to help PACT fulfill our mission. It is not only our donors that make a difference. It is also the men and women who comprise the Parents And Children Together staff. They are 350 strongly committed individuals who share their expertise, their commitment, their empathy, and their time to make Hawaii a better place to live. I have often seen a member of our staff bring in an extra gift to make sure that not one child will be left out during the holidays. It is through their commitment to their consumers that makes PACT such an outstanding agency. Mahalo for all you do to help PACT fulfill our mission. I would also like to thank the Board of Directors for their leadership, knowledge and guidance. Through their commitment, PACT continues to grow, expand its services and achieve the outstanding accolades that we do. Mahalo for all you do to help PACT fulfill our mission. Looking forward to 2008, we have many new initiatives that are being considered that we believe will strengthen our existing programs and assure a continuum of services to our consumers. These initiatives also include looking at ways to improve our support to staff, research initiatives to assure best practice and develop additional partnerships with other providers to expand the safety net to those most vulnerable families. Through the generosity of our donors, the expertise of our staff and the commitment of our Board, PACT works diligently within our 12 programs to break the cycles of abuse, to connect people with existing resources, to educate and to preserve, when ever possible, that basic unit of humanity – the family. Mahalo nui loa. I wish you all the best for a safe, healthy holiday season and prosperous 2008. Ruthann Quitiquit President & CEO |
Welcome to PACT: |
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| "What you may not know about Domestic Violence" | ||||||
| “What is Domestic Violence (DV)? Domestic Violence can take many forms. It is usually a pattern of emotional, physical, mental, sexual, or other forms of violence intended to dominate or control an intimate partner. Where Do We Find DV? DV is all around us – it has no socio-economic boundaries-- DV can be found in wealthy families as well as poor and middle class ones; it is found among people of all ages and professions. DV even occurs among teenage couples, where it has been noted to be on the rise. How common is DV? Although men can be victims of DV, the vast majority of victims are women. Statistics show that nearly one in three women has experienced DV. When Kata Issari, Program Director of the Family Peace Center, gives presentations on DV, she finds that 75-80% of her audiences know of someone who was or is a victim of DV, and 50% of homeless women and children are fleeing DV.
What Fuels DV? “Violence is learned,” reflects Kata. Children may grow up in families where violence is used to solve problems and control situations. Violent TV and video games can reinforce these notions by modeling violent behavior. Abusers typically blame others for their actions, refusing to take responsibility and focusing their anger upon others. Some abusers have predispositions to violent behavior and may have mental health problems. Alcohol and drug abuse frequently play a role in DV incidents. Despite our progress in social justice and equal rights, there are those who continue to harbor traditional sex-role stereotypes, where a woman is a man’s possession. Culture sometimes influences those beliefs and the notion that whatever happens in someone else’s household is not our business, even if violence is suspected. “Veronica” is a former consumer of PACT’s Family Peace Center. Her husband was an alcoholic. She waited five years after he sobered up before marrying him and he stayed sober for two years until he started drinking again at a Christmas party. Sober, he was an attentive father and husband. Drunk, he became vulgar and abusive.
Why do Women Stay with their Abusers? Studies show that women make 5-8 attempts to leave their abuser before succeeding. Why is it so difficult to leave an abusive situation? Leaving is the most dangerous thing a victim can do. Divorced or separated women, while only 7% of the U.S. population, make up 75% of all battered women. They are assaulted 14 times more often than women still living with a partner. Separation also increases the risk of abuse to children, and the potential for custody battles. Economic concerns may prove daunting, especially when a mother is reluctant to tell family and friends about her decision. Often, those close to a victim may try to help but become frustrated when she returns to her abuser. Wealthy women may find it difficult to give up the investment they have made over the years in establishing a home for their family, and are afraid to face the shame and loss of status that follows a shattered relationship. Abusers often threaten to kidnap or hurt the children. They may force the mother out of her job and stalk and harass her. Since dominance and control are the main characteristics of abusive relationships, the mother may become isolated from friends and family and feel she has nowhere to turn. She is often unfamiliar with resources, and others in the community frequently blame the victim and may not be helpful. She may ultimately blame herself for the abuse. Most of us have experienced the difficulties of ending a relationship. No matter what the circumstances, the victim may truly love the abuser and believe his promises to change. The most common motivation to finally leave an abuser is usually concern for the children, the damage that witnessing DV does to them, and the risk of violent behavior towards them. Finances were a grave concern to “Veronica”. How could she manage to support three children on her own? After being demeaned and criticized by her husband, she no longer believed in herself. Her husband made intimidating remarks such as, “You’ll never make it on your own,” “You’ll never get custody of the children,” “I’m going to take the car,” and so on. More subtle was her feeling of obligation to help her husband with his serious alcohol problem. She asked herself, “What did I do to make him start drinking?” She went to counseling and tried to influence him to change, but “nothing worked.” After a series of escalating abusive events, her husband came home one day and accused her of causing him to be suspended from work. He tried to choke her. The police were called, the husband was arrested. “Veronica” became frightened that the next time he became violent he would kill her. She filed for divorce, hoping that this action would “wake him up.” Even the threat of losing his family was not enough to motivate the husband to change. With the support “Veronica” received from PACT’s Family Peace Center, she went through the difficult process of divorce and was able to start a new life for herself and her children.
When might you suspect DV? It’s hard for those of us who haven’t experienced abuse to understand or recognize DV. However, since it is so prevalent, many of us are likely to find ourselves in the company of a victim. How would we know? Warning signs can include women who isolate themselves, whose dispositions change, and who have to get permission for the smallest thing, like paying $5 for a child’s field trip. Victims may receive constant phone calls, become anxious about answering the phone, and feel they have to return calls right away. According to Marci Lopes, Program Director of the Ohia Shelter and the Family and CPS Visitation Centers, technology has made stalking much easier. Cell phones, text messages, GPS systems, email, and internet sites like Google Earth have supplied effective ways for abusers to track their victims. Families who move around a lot and whose children show violent acting-out behaviors may also be showing signs of abuse at home. “Veronica’s children witnessed so much hitting at home that they started hitting each other. They went through the Family Peace Center’s children’s program to sort out their feelings and find non-violent ways to solve their problems. How can you help? It is important to approach the victim privately. A brochure about DV resources placed in the mailbox can have serious consequences. Show your support by saying things like “I’m worried about you,” “I care about what happens to you,” “You don’t deserve to be treated this way. It’s not your fault,” and “There are people who can help you.” Have Pu`uhonua's phone number handy: 585-7944, and tell her she can get counseling and help there. You can also call Pu`uhonua yourself to get tips on what to do. Don’t be surprised if the victim apologizes and minimizes the situation. And be careful not to overextend yourself. Remember, it can take as many as eight attempts before the victim finally leaves the abuser. If you hear violent behavior and loud yelling in your neighborhood, call the police. In Honolulu last year, a boy died trying to defend his mother. No one called the police. What can be done in the workplace? Hawaii has employment laws that support both adult and child victims. Employers with over 50 employees must provide up to 30 days of protected leave to allow victims of DV to address the many issues that confront them. Smaller employers must provide up to 5 days of leave. The confidentiality of records pertaining to the employee’s request for leave related to DV is also protected by law. For specific information about Hawaii’s laws, please consult the Hawaii Revised Statutes, Chapter 378, Part VI, Victim’s Leave. Encourage education about DV in your workplace. PACT staff frequently make presentations in the community. Recommend that your workplace be familiar with the resources available and makes the information easily accessible.
Can abusers change? Research shows that if abusers are identified early, stay in treatment, and get community support, they will be responsible for fewer violent episodes in the future. Sometimes jail, loss of a partner, or loss of children triggers a strong commitment to change. A coordinated community response is essential; one which involves the judiciary and community organizations, and holds the abuser responsible for his actions and accountable for changing his behavior. Treatment focuses on examining beliefs and practices, offering an alternative way to deal with the world, and the learning of skills needed to follow a more peaceful way of life.
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 Happy Monster,Glad Monster, Loving Monster Our keiki from the Headstart class rooms wore their expressions while going out trick or treating during Halloween. |
 Mahalo to the Yonehara’s — owners of Pigtails & Crewcuts. They did a two month fund drive for the children in Ohia Shelter. The Pigtails & Crewcuts team collected over $1000 worth of school supplies, clothing, and toys. They encouraged their customers to donate items by giving them a discount on children's haircuts. What a novel way to help a great cause! |
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| A gift from Macy’s Ohia Shelter received $14,200.00 from the Macy’s Foundation. We are grateful to the Macy’s Foundation for their generous support of our Ohia Domestic Violence Shelter. Domestic Violence affects these women in more ways than just the physical and psychological abuse they are forced to endure. Very often homelessness is the only option available to these women and their children to escape the abuse. This donation will help us to continue to provide shelter to these women and children at a crucial stage in their lives. |
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| Thank You Thank you to the Kaimuki Self Storage in Kaimuki for the donation of a storage unit to the Ohia Shelter. It will allow us to now accept more donations for our consumers needs. |
Ohia receives Verizon Hopeline grant of $5,000 The money will be used to start a small business center for consumers, staff training, and help pay for utility bills. Verizon wireless also donated 10 hopeline phones that are equipped with 50 hrs of free minutes (per phone) for survivors of domestic violence. Ohia received these phones in March and our women have been making great use of these wonderful services. |
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 We would like to acknowledge the The Department of the Attorney General for their commitment to PACT and our Visitation Centers on Oahu, Maui and Kauai. |
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